wise words come from unknown places...

Today was another stress test and I met with Dr. Shiamoko. Anxiety is abound at this stage in pregnancy. I have shared my fears with the doctor in regards to labor and delivery and just birth in general. She is very understanding and listens so well. She reassured me that everything will be fine and it's normal to be scared and if I wasn't she would be concerned then. She also reminded me to not let anyone steal our joy at this time in our life and that true good people would understand we are in a nesting stage and in need of each others time together more now than ever and stress is not needed in our lives as we are preparing for the most important gift anyone could be given.  After all, we won't have this time together soon, we will have a little girl to take care of and she will come first above everything else. This all reminded me of a conversation I had several weeks ago with a man at the salvation army. He said "You will never really know life until you have a child". He's right, as the day comes nearer that she will arrive my feelings on life have taken new perspectives. I can only imagine how much more I will know watching her grow. Small things will no longer seem small, patience will no longer be a word,  and going to the bathroom alone will be rare. It is at this time in my life that I realize God takes off the goggles for you, he prepares you for the hard road of labor ahead. There really is no fear in birth, it's only the unknown that makes us uneasy and uncomfortable. But, like the kind man said "you really never know life until you have a child" the unknowing of labor is just another phase in this journey we call life.

Baby Girl is growing!!!

Had my growth scan today and baby g is growing good. Looks like she has decided to play catch up and is now sitting in the 50th percentile for growth! She now weighs over 4 pounds and they are happy with her growth right now. On other fronts, I am now having to do stress tests twice weekly on the fetal monitor and this seems to be normal in high risk pregnancy's. Have to do another kidney protein test (the dreaded jugs of pee) and my iron level was a little low so I have to compensate with a supplement. The doc seems to think stress is creating an elevated blood pressure and she wants me to take it a little easy and kick out all distractions right now so the baby will continue to grow at a normal rate. Amniotic fluid is back to normal and my fluid intake is getting better. I have been having severe round ligament pain for weeks and can hardly walk sometimes and doc recommended a belly band. I picked one up today and THANK GOD!!! If you are prego, buy one, it will help you soooo much. I can't believe how much of a difference it has made and it helped get her to finally move off of my ligaments. She is still wedged in my pelvis and face forward and looks snug as a bug, she must have been sleepy cause we saw her rub her eyes on the ultrasound. Got a better look at her profile and she is a doll! Definitely taking the beauty genes from the both of us! Laundered all her clothes and sheets today and hoping to finish up the nursery by the end of the week in between my school work and house duties. Glad Papa Bear's boss let him join me for the ultrasound today I can tell he enjoys seeing her move around in there.

Pregnancy Dreams

One of the coolest things that happens while your prego is the dream world you find yourself in during sleep. My dreams are more vivid, emotional, and full of weird imagery. I dream of taking the baby out of my body and I play with her and love and snuggle her. It's such an awesome feeling, she is still connected by her cord so I know she is okay (awww, dream land) then I realize I have to get her back in there and I start panicking thinking of how I'm going to do this. Sis chimes in that I should just shove her back up there and it's okay she did that all the time with her first born, Dad is building a bench to give me more leverage, Mom is saying we should just stretch open my belly button and put her in there and I'm more or less freaking out. Papa Bear tells me I need to be more patient and quit trying to take her out and look at the mess I'm making and trouble we are putting her through! Its all quite a riot. So if you are prego and having these types of dreams just know that it seems to be normal to take your baby out during sleep and hold them. Perhaps this is some esoteric bonding we have all lost touch with as we evolved into modern beings.