Yesterday I turned in my 24 hour urine screen for protein. If you are diabetic and pregnant you will do this at least twice in your pregnancy. They give you a fashionable orange urine jug that you pour your urine in from the awesome container that fits in the toilet and stick it in the fridge, yes, that's right, your refrigerator. Do not mistake it for minute maid orange juice no matter how early it is in the morning and how tired you are, it is not juice, it is urine! You will do this for 24 hours and then take it to the lab. When transporting your pretty orange jug expect other people to look at you with sincere jealousy, they secretly want a jug too and more importantly they are dying to know what is in it!! The horror of it all is when you take it to your lab they immediately stir it up and take 3 tiny test tubes of all that urine, that's it, all that other urine just goes to waste! Then they have the gall to poke you in your veins and take 5 beautiful vials of blood from your arm. But don't worry, you usually end up with a spider man or hello kitty band aid, which makes up for all the humiliation you felt having to collect your urine for a day and carrying around a jug that is obviously not gin and juice. Do yourself a favor and stay home during these 24 hours, otherwise you will be feeling really awkward holding a McDonald's cup full of urine in it while you are in the check out lane at Home Depot.
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